It was way back before
the thing called “us” when I intended to plan my life out based on what I want
to see myself in the future. I thought I got everything figured out. Then, you
entered unexpectedly in the most unexpected way and time. There was just
something missing that I can see in your eyes. I guess that was the reason I
let myself to be with you. Then you got broken. I got so obsessed in fixing you that I broke
myself in the process. I depended so much
in you that I didn’t notice I let my life revolved around you. You and only for
you.
When you came, I didn’t
even notice that I’m a product of a broken family. I tend to believe that it
was you who made me changed my idea about marriage and family. Since then, you
became my home. You are my home. You made everyday felt a
little better and lighter.
With how you threw
those words, even though you said you don’t mean it, something inside me is
saying that you are starting to slip away. Too paranoid? Yes. I don’t want to
dig even further because I don’t want us to end up hurting each other. But it’s
troubling me... I know you are trying your best to be faithful and trying your
best to do your duty to me as my partner. To all your efforts, I really
want to say thank you. They are very much well appreciated. But in case you can’t
feel the love anymore and someone already took my place in your heart, I want
to know her.. I want to see the reason WHY you chose to forget our foundation
of love because of her.. If you are not inlove yet, I want to know the reason
why she made you that confused. Am I not enough?
But if your love is real, please give me the assurance of being your only one. Honestly I dont want your silly jokes of having an affair with another woman or your questions about you having someone else and how will I react to it. At the back of my head it seems that that you're trying to prepare me for something similar to your jokes. I know I have lots of attitudes that you don't like and I'm not the prettiest girl you know. But I think you know very well how much I love you and how desperate I am to find that one true relationship. My innermost desire of having someone who will never leave me and how I wish it was you already because for now, I'm so tired of trying :(
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